Ice King.

I miss him tremendously.

I can't remember the last time I missed everything about someone so much.

I can't even think enough to form coherent thoughts to type this entry out.

He told me he loved me for the first time yesterday....on my voicemail.

I want to tell him I love him too...but to his face.

I should be angry that he's holding things against me that I can't control but instead I'm hurt.

Hurt that whatever he's been through, whatever someone did to him, doesn't allow him to realize that I'd never hurt him.Hurt because I've trusted him so much and he can't give me the same back.

I haven't gone a day without crying yet.

Something has to give. And I've been giving...I can't give until I break again. I just can't. He says he's hurting too, but I can't understand his pain. The whole situation just doesn't make sense and his fear of trust is extremely painful for me to deal with. I just want to be able to love him wholly. He has to let me in. I can't keep standing outside his door. I wish I could, but it hurts too much, especially knowing that his trust is in a prison of his own creation.


"And I know that loving you don't make no sense.."
"I've given until I break..."
"How can we grow when we've only begun?...."

~ "Ice King" - Res