Lay Your Burdens Down

This will be short because I'm typing on my Sidekick and I cannot stand it for too long.

I'm starting to realize that there are steps to healing.

More and more I'm realizing that I have to allow myself to feel before I can heal. That means I may have to cry. I may have to appear weak, I may have to breakdown a bit to build myself stronger. Before I can lay my burdens down, I have to pick them up. To some that may not make sense, but in order to fight for your freedom, you must first realize you are enslaved. ([Sic] "I could have freed many more, if only I had be able to convince more slaves that they were slaves." - Harriet Tubman)

There is no future in regret. I've come to the conclusion but it doesn't stop me from feeling it....I feel, now more than ever, the need to do something. I have to succeed in order to justify. I have to succeed, now more than ever.

I used to joke and say that regret is a wasted emotion, although I think I halfway believed it.

I'm realizing regret and remorse are two different (yet related) emotions. And I've experienced them both to great depths recently.

I've realized that it's when you deal with something that tests the fabric of your being, that takes you completely out of your element, that maybe makes you hard to deal with, that may make you no longer fun to be around, that you realize who you can really depend on. Who is genuinely concerned for your well-being (mentally & physically) and not just entertained by you when everything is kosher. More on that later...

I just skimmed thru this and noticed a lot of 3rd person, wondering what that means....I must be tired, I'm analyzing my own nighttime online ramblings.

Til next time,